Monday, May 27, 2019

You Must Remain Silent

She was gone and he was gone.  However, residual energy remained and "visits" from good and bad were still occurring.   Much of this was due to the fact that we had not fully learned to protect ourselves.  We were still shell shocked about our experiences which also caused us to suffer PTSD.  Learning to protect ourselves and our surroundings was hard and talking about it was just as hard, if not harder. 

We knew we need to get a handle on our situation or we would be right back to where we were before Amy, Steve, and the rest of The Dead Files team helped us.   This was easier said then done.

If you remembered from our episode, Amy said there was a path of dead walking in front of our house.  It was still there after she left and is still there to this day.   Before we became strong enough and fully learned how to protect ourselves, it was a daily battle to keep them from coming in.  At times, we could not keep them out.

We spent time studying.  Trail and error was our best educator because we learned that every situation was different and we're not experienced enough to differentiate between situations. The "who, what, where and how" was still a frustrating mystery for us.  We sought help of others but were careful of those others.   We got the girls in counseling with a psychotherapist because we knew that someone like that would be more open to their experiences.  We needed to get them back to us.

We would still hear the whispers of children in our home, still see the figures walk in front of our windows.  They came from all walks of "after" life.  Women, men, outlaws, slaves, children, young, old; all lost and all not knowing where to turn so they turned to us.   Our first challenge was determining who was good and who bad.   Who was just lost or who was intent on doing harm. The last thing we wanted was to cast someone out who truly turned to us for help.  However, we weren't good enough to distinguish that yet.  Even if they communicated they just wanted help, we could not trust them. 

I can only recall once where we knew that one lost soul needed help.   It was the first positive life changing experience for us.

It was August 2016, about 2 months after the filming of our episode.   I heard our front storm door open and shut.   Thinking it was just Jennifer letting dogs in or out, I initially thought nothing of it.  Then I remembered that Jennifer was in the shower.   As I walked toward the front of the house, a pungent order hit me.   It smelled of someone who had been outside working all day in the hot summer sun.  I knew immediately that someone was in our house.

At first a sense of terrible anxiety hit me.   My first thought was "what do I do?"

Jennifer was out of the shower  by this time and I remember her saying, "someone was watching me in the shower."

"Someone's here" I whispered

Then I saw him.  A tall African American man dressed in torn up clothes as if they were handed down to him from past generation.

I was stumbled backwards, not know what to say or do.

"What!"  Jennifer asked with a sense of fear in her voice, "Who's here?"

I collected myself and said out loud, "who are you?  Why are you here?"

"I am looking for my family.  My wife and daughter", he said in a voice that sounded like the faded end of an echo. 

He went on to say, "I mean no disrespect.  I was told they came this way." 

The heartbreak in his face was overwhelming. 

I looked at Jennifer and said, "He's looking for his family.  That's all"

Jennifer and both quickly had the same thought, let's help him.   Jennifer started to talk to him and I prepared the Sage and incense.   She told him his family was not at our house and that they were probably still moving forward on the path. 

I began the cleansing I had learned.  Saying the blessings and prayers.  While directing them at him specifically.  I prayed for help and guidance so that he could be reunited with his family.  I told him that they had not stopped here but if he kept moving forward he would find them.  He just had to have faith.  I told him staying with us would not get him closer to his family but would only increase the distance between them.  I told him to go.  Go and find his family.

Just like that, he was gone.  The smell was gone, the anxiety was gone and so was our fear.

It was the first time that we had every help someone move on without someone help us.

It was empowering and finally knew how to keep the others silent.

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

All Bad Things Must Come To An End

She was gone, finally she was gone.  The dead woman who had tortured and terrorized our family for the past 8 years was no more.  However, there was one more thing we had to do.  An act of kindness which would prove difficult to stomach after all she had done to us.  We had to do a memorial for her at a place where she may had been buried prior to being moved to a cemetery near us.  That place was on the Southwest corner of our land.  Maybe she wasn't moved at all; maybe she was still under that huge oak tree;  maybe just a headstone was placed at the cemetery.  We will never truly know but what we did know was she was buried somewhere close to us.

The Reiki made it clear that the  memorial was something we must do to avoid any possibility of her coming back.  It would finally close the door to our suffering.  She told us we needed to do it that same evening, at sunset.  She said if she was still lingering she would be weak.  She would know that control had shifted to us.  So doing the memorial that evening would dash any hope she had of returning.

Still overwhelmed by what had just happened, the Reiki helped us with some calming and meditation exercises.  She wanted to give us some strength so we could do what we needed to done .   After she felt we were up to our next task, she was comfortable with leaving. 

"I feel you're ready now.  You're stronger than you were when I arrived.  This will be difficult emotionally for you, but it's the final step."  She said to us as we walked her to the door.

"Your next journey now begins.  The healing.  It will take time and just as much strength. You will have set backs, you may have visitors.  But you're more prepared than you were before.  Learn and understand your abilities. Don't shy away from them.  They're gifts you can use to protect yourself."  She went on to say.

"Heidi has a gift, a strong gift.  She needs to understand it & how to control it.  It can be a blessing or curse for her.  Work hard to make it a blessing."  She added as she opened her car door.

These words have been burned into my memory every since.

She never asked for money-not one dime.  Even when we asked her if we needed to pay her, she said no.  However, we insisted she take $100 for her time.  She took it, but was reluctant in doing so.

Sunset was coming and we were hurrying in putting a memorial service together.  We decided to keep it simple.  No heavy handed words would be spoken.  We would each say something but would keep short.

We went as a family carrying a candle, some flowers, and a pocket Bible.  It was a long walk to the spot but it felt like walk of freedom for us.  We all felt a sense of relief that this dark part of our lives was over.   We could finally be a happy and loving family again.  It had been a long time since we were one.

As we got the grave site, none of us said a word.   Heidi placed the flowers down near the headstone.  I placed the candle close to them.

"Can I light it Daddy?", Emi asked me.

"Of course."  I answered.

As Emi lite the candle, I begin to speak.  I told Etta that I hoped she was finally at peace.  I hoped that she found love, hope, and happiness.  Even though it was very difficult for me to say, I told her that I forgave her.

Jennifer, Heidi, and Emi all said something similar.  Each one of them ended with a word of forgiveness.

We finished by saying the Lord's Prayer.  That was it, we were done. 

The sun was setting as we made our way back to the house.  As I looked back, I could see the candle flickering rapidly.  Then, in an instant, it went out. 

I remembered thinking as I closed the gate to the Way Back pasture,  "Goodbye and good riddance Etta.  All bad things must come to an end."

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You Must Remain Silent

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