Navigating our new lives has been many things; challenging, painful, enlightening, wonderful, and scary. It has meant not only changing who we are, but accepting what we are as well as what happens around us.
One of the major things we had to change was accepting the fact that regardless how hard we try to protect ourselves, something will always sneak by us. Despite all our best efforts, things still happen in our house and, sometimes, even the places we go. The key to acceptance is understanding that we can still control our environment.
Something recently happened that put this philosophy to the test.
I usually wake up before everyone else on Saturdays. With no phone calls or meetings, it's a great chance for me to catch up on work tasks that I didn't get a chance to finish up during the week. It's just a relaxing time that also gives me chance to relax and breath a little. This particular Saturday was no different. I enjoyed some coffee, answered a few work emails, and caught up on the news of the week. I had some plans to do some things outside because it was such a beautiful day. I knew I need to take advantage of the nice weather as snow was in the forecast for the next week.
I was sitting on the couch reading some news articles when I heard a door open in the back part of the house and footsteps walking towards the living room. I didn't give it much thought as I figured it was just someone waking up. I went back to doing what I was doing when I noticed the door leading to the basement was opening and shutting. I would open slightly, then slam shut.
Before I accepted this as something paranormal, I needed to think logically. Were the footsteps related to the basement door opening and shutting? Was there something material causing the door to do what it was doing? A draft? A dog?
I realized that everyone was still asleep and if Jennifer had gotten up for any reason the dogs would have gone bananas. Heidi and Emi were still sound asleep so it wasn't either of them.
Our basement is unfinished and does not have a walk out like the newer homes do. It has three port hole type of windows in the back, away from the entrance. All the windows were shut and there was no breeze at all coming from them. The basement entrance has two doors. The first door leads to the stairway and there is another door at the bottom of the stairs that leads into the basement. I made sure that both doors were shut tightly and didn't open when pulled or pushed.
From Left to Right. The door leading from the living room to the stairway, the door to the basement, the stairway down to the basement.
At this point, I decided everything was just my imagination as I had been overly sensitive lately to things in my environment. I dismissed it all and went back to my reading.
After five minutes, I heard a door open again in the back of the house and footsteps walking toward the living room. I jumped up and went into the kitchen to see if anyone was there. Nothing, no one. I checked again and everyone was still asleep. As I went back to the couch, I notice the door leading the basement was cracked open. I knew I shut it and double checked it to make sure it was tightly closed. I looked down the stair way to make sure the other door was still closed. I closed the stairway door and pushed it firmly a few times just to make sure. I even made sure I couldn't pull it open.
By this time, I was a little freaked out. I had no idea what was going on or what was going to happen next. I regained my composure and reminded myself that things just happen to us. It doesn't necessary mean bad things.
"You're welcome here as long as you behave and don't cause any trouble. If cannot abide by these conditions then you must move on. If you want to go in the basement, you can but, I would be very careful as it's a mess and I wouldn't want you to get hurt", I said with a calm confidence.
I felt this allowed me to regain control of the environment as well as set hard ground rules. At the first sign of any sort of distress or discomfort on my part, I would take the steps to remove whatever it was roaming the house.
I stood in the kitchen entry for a little while just to see if I could hear the footsteps or doors opening and closing. After about 5 minute of nothing, I figured whatever it was decided to leave or take a break. Either way, I was fine with it and went back and sat down on the couch.
After a few minutes, I heard a door in the back the house, then footsteps coming into the living room and finally the door to the basement stairway started again. I didn't say anything or react but I did decide to record video of the door.
At this point, I'd had enough. I was starting to feel a little panic set it and my fear level was starting to rise. I had this feeling that, whatever it was was either trapped in the basement and trying to get out or was trying to go into the basement. Without warning, an overwhelming anxiety rushed through me. I knew I needed to get away from it and decided to go outside for a while.
"Time to go", I said as started to head my way outside.
I stopped at the back door and said, "This means you too, time for you to get out the fuck out of my house!"
Even though I was scared to death and my heart was pounding, I said it with a firm level of confidence and without hesitation.
Once outside, I walked down the drive and opened the gate.
"Bye, hope you find what you're looking for because it's not here. Don't come back!", I said as I slammed the gate shut.
As you can see, life remains an adventurous journey for us. Thanks to Amy Allan, the entire Dead Files crew, and a long list of some many others who have helped along the way, it's a journey we're able to navigate now because we have the map.
Wow!Glad you learned how to handle this type of situation.ReplyDelete